Deelip Khanal

A friend of mine returned from Malaysia last week. She was about to go India right after a week. She wanted to hangout with me. So we went to places, in the evening. Thamel, New Road, Kingsway and other places. In 3 short meetings, she tried to make me realize that I am living in hell. And that we don’t know how to live and that we’re so backward and many other things. She did not directly that that of course but she tried. She is my friend, so I hate to say that I hate the people who act like they belong to some other country just because they’ve spent some time there and whine about how bad the country is how bad is it going to be. She’d been in Lankawi for barely one year and when she returned Nepal, she was saying “things are not like this in ‘her’ place”. As if that is where she belongs.

She is not the only one actually. I have many friends living in USA, Australia and other country. Everytime they come down here, they not only whine about the situation here but curse us for our bad waste management sytem, for the traffic problem, for lack of water and for the political system. They curse us for giving them hard time during their a month long visit.

“Poor Nepalese are never going to learn these things.”.

That is the exact line she said.

I wanted to say that why don’t you brilliant minds just stay in Nepal and manage the waste properly, make roads and get into politics and make it better? Otherwise why don’t you just forget about us? Just stay where you are and serve your ‘place’. Isn’t it your duty to make it better if you call yourself Nepalese citizen? You could at least just let it be if you can’t do anything. But I am too nice to say that to a girl in her face :)

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And about my ex-girlfriend. Her result published yesterday. She called me to ask  if I could help her to see the result. I was in theater so I didn’t answer. Then when movie finished and I came out of theater I called her to ask whats the matter, she said her result is published but she doesn’t want my help. She said her friends will help her. And also said that It doesn’t really matter to me whether she passes or not. And out of nowhere she made fun of my bad habits and said that I’ll loose everything in my life someday. That didn’t hurt me. That rather made me wonder had I really been with the right girl for last 3 years  and had I really known her? I still have the line “I am in love with the probably the sweetest girl” in my blog’s header.

So, I watched the movie Psycho by Alfred Hitchcock. Being grown up in a village I got access to Hollywood movies only after coming to Kathmandu for high school (I rarely missed any Nepalese movie though when I was in last grades of  school). Its been 6 years and for the last 1 year I’ve been watching all the classics and critically acclaimed movies.( Btw, I actually bought the DVD, not rented, and for full NRS. 200).

So Pshycho, I found the movie just like any other drama movie until Marion reaches Norman’s motel.I loved their conversation during the dinner, the way Norman talks sometimes quite romantic and very angry. And then it blew me up with the famous shower scene.  This must be one of the very rare scenes on any film that actually scared me. I saw the same scene at least 5 times and I want to see it again and again. 

But, besides the shower scene I didn’t see anything special when I first saw the move. It starts from an ordinary crime drama to a incredible gory murder scene and then an awesome psychological story but then I’ve seen that all the time.  And then I wondered how can a movie that is called masterpiece all over the world looks just another Psycho thriller to me? As I said I’d been watching all the highly rated classics all the time, I find some of them just average. I never appreciated these movies like RGV appreciates Pshycho except for few movies like Pulp Fiction, Sin City, reservoir dogs. I mean of course I enjoy these movie but I just don’t find them as incredible as others do. Only after I read that article by RGV on psycho, then realized the reason. The reason I do not find these movies as incredible as others find is that there have been made hundreds of clones of these movies. I have definitely seen more than 5 other movies on the same story as psycho and with equally brilliant techniques. Its simple, when you’re happy about the present you forget the history.

I watched Psycho once again after reading RGV’s article on the movie. Now I realize why Hitchcock is talked about so much and then I agreed pshycho is one of the best movies I’d ever seen. 

Big news!

I broke up with the girl whom I was seeing since last three years. It was supposed to be a mutual breakup but few days after the breakup she blamed me and said that I betrayed her. Had I know that she’d say such irresponsible thing, I would have never get involved with her in the first place. Because both of us thought we’re done with each other and we do not have the wonderful future we imagined earlier.  In these 3 year, this is the first time, she’d said something bad at all. Otherwise she was probably the finest woman I’ve ever known. Needless to say that I’m very frustrated and am unable to realize whether we did good or bad.We’ve been in on and off relationship in the past but this one very much looks the final breakup. Sometimes things changes so suddenly you don’t even realize how much you’re going to get hurt the other day.

Exams.. gawd, I had to give up college rather than the girl (which were not options for each other unfortunately). I skipped exam again which I’d skipped in the first semester. I choose to not to sit in rather than being clueless and leave the exam hall within half an hour or probably try to cheat in which I’m really bad.My sisters had no idea what I’m doing. They wanted to shout at me but they don’t anymore. But I know what I’m doing, so chill! Yes, I do know what I’m doing.

All things are coming together, all the bad things. First breakup, and then the exam, my bikes having problem again(and i don’t have time to take it to the mechanics) and my eyes are hurting. I went to the hospital last week and had been putting some drops. But I can easily forget all kind of schedules like exam schedule(did I say that I forget date of one of the paper of my board exam last semester?), medicine schedule etc. I’ve been forgetting to use the eye drops almost everyday, no wonder my eyes are taking ages to be alright. I feel like some bugs into my eyes but there’s nothing. 

So, as I said in my earlier post, I’ve been listening quite a lot of South Asian rock/fusion bands including Indian Ocean, Agnee, Junoon and artists like Ali Azmat, Rabbi Shergill. All these are great musicians but I can’t stop listening Agnee these days. These two tracks, “Shadho Re” and “Kabira” are SUPER songs. Both are based in Kabir’s Dohas(poems). Kabir was 15th century mystic poet. What makes the songs very ecstatic is the lyrics of the song and voice of Mohan . Everytime I hear these lines I get goosebumps. Here are few lines of the songs:

“Saat Janam ke Sat Pher hai
saanp sidhi hai bhai
yam ka dand mund mein lage
dhari rahe chaturai”

Not that I am into religious philosophies and all that but there is something amazing in this line which makes me listen this song again and again.

Sadho Re is about Death if I’ve understood it correctly. And the death is nothing but “change”. It explains how simple Death is and inevitable it is. Everyone and everything in the world has to die and nothing can escape this system. Only one thing that remains is the name of the substance. Here’s the lyrics:

Sadho Re, Ye Murdo Ka Gaanv

peer mare, paigambar mari hain
marr gaye hain zinda jogi.
raja mari hain, praja ,ari hain
mari hain vaid aur rogi.

chanda mari hain, suraj mari hain
mari hain dharti aakasa.
chaudah bhuvan ke chaudhri mari hain
in hoon ki ka aasa.

nau hoon mari hain, dus hoon mari hain,
mari hain sahaj athaasi.
tetis koti devata mari hain
badi kaal ki bazi

naam anam anant rehat hai
duja tatva na hoi
kahe kabir suno bhai sadho
bhatak maro mat koi

This song roughly translates to:

Oh Good Men, this is the Village of the Dead

The Saints Have Died, The God-Messengers Die
The Life-Filled Yogis Die Too
The Kings Die, The Subjects Die
The Healers and the Sick Die Too

The Moon Dies, The Sun Dies
The Earth and Sky Die Too
Even the Caretakers of the Fourteen Worlds Die
Why Hope For Any of These

The Nine Die, The Ten Die
The Eighty Eight Die Easily Too
The three humdred and thirty million Devas Die
It’s a Big Game of Time

The Un-Named Name Lives Without Any End
There is No Other Truth
Says Kabir Listen Oh Good Men
Don’t Get Lost and Die

Kabir’s song are sung by many other artists including Indian Ocean, Kumar Gandarv, Jagjit Singh etc.

Somebody reminded me that I should update this thing.

Some people loved my Nepalese language post lol. They think I should have a comment box in this blog. Well, the reason I don’t have comment box in this blog is,I don’t want to be embarrassed just in case I post something not appropriate for everyone. I mean at least 2 of my family members know about this blog.

My college has started. Its going to be whole 6 hours a day this time. And my plan is to attend 2 hours each day. I actually like college but just to see my friends.

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Some people who call themselves professional marketers think spamming is email marking. I saw a job posting the other day whose requirement was like collecting email addresses of people by viewing forum profiles and mailing them using mass mailer.

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My motorbike had been giving me some problem since some days.She had been producing some strange sounds. I took her to more than 5 mechanics and no one seemed to know whats wrong with her. I finally identified the problem myself and she is alright now. Whoa! I’m almost a mechanic now. Is that a good thing?